survivor Harry Potter style
by xxburningrosesxx
Summary: A survivor parody involving harry Potter Characters. What happens when Harry is put on a tribe with none other than Voldemort.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Survivor, but I am a fan of both.

Day 1: meet your tribe.

Random Harry Potter Characters line up on a boat heading towards a deserted island facing the announcer waiting to be given their tribes.

Announcer: Welcome all. You are on survivor the magic folk addition. You will not be able to use magic at all, your magic will be stripped until you are voted off or win. (Groans erupted from the crowd. They could feel their powers being stripped away.) Now the two tribes will be Hookahpepi and Talb. In Hookahpepi is Harry Potter our very own boy who lived, Hermione Granger, Sirius Black , Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Minerva McGonagall, Narcissa Malfoy, and the very own Lord Voldemort himself.

Harry let out a petrifying scream at hearing that he was going to be on the same team not only with a his enemy's but also the person who killed his parents and tried to kill him on numerous occasions.

Announcer: Ok now Mr. Potter if you are done interrupting I will announce the members of Talb. Albus Dumbledor, Ron Weasley, Remus Lupin, Lucius Malfoy, Poppy Pomfery, Cho Chang, Victor Krum, and Neville Longbottom. You will all need to work together in your tribes to win immunity and any attempts on the other players life's will result in Prison time along with not getting your magic back. (looks directly at Voldemort who was trying to push Harry off the boat.) Now good luck to all of you, and you have 5 seconds to get off the boat before I shoot you.

Nobody moved until the announcers pulled out a shotgun, making everyone realize the sincerity of his words and scrambled off the boat.

Announcer: By the way first tribe to the shore gets the camp with the already made shelter. _He screamed after them. _

_Hookapepi was the first to reach shore. Dumbledor had a hard time trying to swim with all his robes hair, and well the fact that he is really old. Both tribes were led to their campsites. Hookapepi's was lavishing and lush like a beautiful rain forest even equipped with a clear stream running in the middle. Their shelter was magnificent. A small stone one-room house with beautiful engravings of dolphins and me people swimming around the borders, and it even had carpet that felt like you were walking on marshmallows. _

To the Camera:

Harry: This place is so beautiful. It almost reminds me that I'm not going to be living with a murderer. I mean ALMOST.

Hermione: I mean it's great. Harry's pretty worried about Voldemort but I don't think he will try anything. If he does he won't get his magic back. I wonder if they wont give him his magic back anyway….

Draco: The carpet feels like Marshmallows but it doesn't taste like them. (_Looks sad)_ It's tastes like rabbit poo. And I know my cousin told me that the bunny was leaving me coco puffs on the ground but they weren't coco puff not at all. (_Bursts into uncontrollable tears swaying back and forth.)_

_Meanwhile the Talb tribe got a big surprise when they saw their camp. The ground was completely bare there were maybe a few dead logs, but not much. The stream running through the campsite was black and looked a lot like oil. Dirt was everywhere._

To Camera:

Ron: This doesn't look like fun. I know who I am voting off Mr. I'm to old to swim 2 fucking miles.

Dumbledor: I don't think any one in the tribe is at all happy with me for not being able to make it to the bank first. But I'm a powerful wizard not some professional athlete.

Cho: I don't know if it's this vast wasteland or not having magic but did Ron get cuter.

Back at Hookahpepi Hermione, McGonagall, Voldemort, and Draco were trying to catch fish with large pointy sticks, while Harry and Sirius tried to build a fire. Pansy was doing nothing, but swooning over Draco cheering him on like it would help.

Harry: How do muggles get a fire started the sticks wont work.

Harry was beating two sticks together fiercely.

Sirius: Your doing it wrong you rub them together not horribly mutate one.

Sirius rubbed them together causing a pile of leaves to ignite under them.

To Camera:

Harry: This fire building stuff is hard work. I think I did a magnificent job though. Bow down to my fire starting skills.

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Harry: Hey Sirius where's the bathroom.

Sirius laughed and pointed to the bushes.

Harry: Wait you want me to go there.

Sirius: uh ya.

Harry grimaced as he walked as far into the bushes as he could. Minutes later he came running out smiling holding onto a green leafy substance.

Harry: Hey guys look what I found. Some class A bud.

Shouting with delight the team abandoned what they were doing and ran to Harry, where they proceeded to get high and chat.

Voldemort: Harry I know we've had our ups and downs, but It's not my fault I have to hate you I blame society.

Harry: It's ok man. It's cool, but could you lay off the killing me thing at least till I experience more of life.

Voldemort: No problem as long as you keep supplying me.

Harry: Deal.

Harry and Voldemort hugged for a few minutes then started reminiscing about they're past encounters.

Hermione: Uh what was that? _Horrified look on her face. _

Draco: I think they've gone insane.

Hermione: Ya me to.

They all talked for a while before passing out of the marshmallow carpet of their hut.

_The Talb tribe couldn't get a fire lit. A fight broke out between Remus and Lucius over was gong to start the fire eventually causing the fire that Poppy started to go out. Dumbledor had to keep the peace. Ron sat near the shore uncomfortably wishing Cho would stop bothering him. Then they all eventually fell asleep. Ron doing so with Cho wrapped around him after she claimed that sleeping like that would keep them warm from body heat._


End file.
